Holy fuck.

Just got my wisdom teeth out, uh, 20 minutes ago. Worst. Experience. Ever.

I've had some pretty unpleasant stuff done to my body, and up until today, the winner was having skin tags blasted off the inside of my butt crack with liquid nitrogen. But we have a new champion.

Insurance decided they'd spring for the Nitrous Oxide, which contrary to making me feel giddy and laugh-y, made me nauseous and sent me into a panic attack. Best use of $70 ever. But at least it gave me something to focus on besides the 12 shots of novocaine I was getting.

I can see how the procedure itself is "not that bad", because there really wasn't any pain, just some really unpleasant pressure. I'm going to blame the nitrous, though, because I was white-knuckling it and actually started crying at one point.

If I had known that it was going to be this bad, I'd have given blowjobs on the street until I had the $400 for sedation. Either that or just skipped the procedure altogether.

I feel like I need to take a Silkwood shower.

OMG, so I just watched Tiger Woods' apology...

I'm supposed to be going to bed, but like a train wreck, I couldn't help but watch his shame-fest.

"I was wrong, I was foolish. The same rules that apply to everyone apply to me."

No, they don't. You're a billionaire. It wasn't until one of your handlers came up to you and said, "You personally will lose 200 million dollars this year, unless you read this cut-n-paste speech," that you actually sat up and took notice.

Please. Everyone knows you're a pussy hound. If you try to cover this up with apologies and counseling, you'll just be a pussy hound in denial. Which won't last long. Just be out and proud, be the Black/Asian John Daly.

And fire your handlers. You should've been out in front on this one, going "Oh, well, I slipped up, but who doesn't want to?" Instead, you hid away in a cave for 2 months, then came out in a lame-ass press conference where the press wasn't allowed to ask questions. FAIL. If you don't like your wife, pay her $200 million to go away. Then go be a pussy hound. Are these decisions that difficult? How many kids eating Wheaties come from broken homes? My guess is "half of them".

Grow up, and grow a pair, Tiger. It's been a new millenium for a while now.

Well, I'm late as crap...

Which is the story of my life. There are forces at work, here, that I can't tell you guys about just yet, but suffice to say that I am being thrust into the abyss...

I just borrowed $2,000 from my dad to file chapter 13 bankruptcy. I defaulted on half a million, 2 years ago, and while Lori and I have always tried to be self-sufficient and clean up our own messes, it just ain't happenin'. My stupid car sucked up $500 or more every month for the last 6 months, and there's always this and that that needs fixing. Anyway.

I'm going in to the accountant on Friday to file corporate taxes for 2005, 06, 07 and 08. This will cost at least $800 to get them prepared, and that's just one part of the whole filing process. This is not to say that those taxes will be paid; I'm just filing the forms so I can file my chapter 13.

I really thought I learned this lesson when I was 25--don't skimp on the paperwork, or you'll get fucked on the deal. Well, I guess that's true, when everything else is normal, but I got so...depressed for a year and a half *scratch that, 5 years*, that everything else fell by the wayside. Instant avoidance of displeasure versus unpleasant tasks...

Well, anyway, as far as health-related stuff goes, I get my wisdom teeth out on Monday, only because my dentist refused to do the rest of the work until I did. I'm also planning to quit smoking on Monday, when I'll be gorked out on Vicodin, and not taking it personally... I got a call from the surgeon's office today, and the glib lady was like, "And remember not to eat anything for 6 hours before the surgery". I said, "Umm, the doc told me to eat breakfast before". And she said, "Oh, you're not going to sleep for it?" "No, can't afford it and insurance won't cover it. It won't even cover nitrous. By the way, cancel the nitrous." "Ooooh," she said, and presumably did.

But now I find out that insurance will cover the nitrous, so I'll huff deep and have a great time--at least so Chuck M. tells me.

I have a lot of stuff piled up in front of me, which will all become clear rather shortly, but just feel like I'm going to be attending a sentencing hearing this week--that creeping sense of doom, or a potential evil fate which is out of your hands.

Now is the winter of our discotheque

Well, I dunno, but doesn't disco make everything more fun?

I went out to start the snow blower yesterday, it's a monster, a 9-hp model that originally cost someone over $900. It has electric start, which is good, because you wouldn't want to pull-start an engine that big. Not if you're 145 lbs, you wouldn't.

So, plugged the extension cord into the socket on the blower, pressed the starter, and got a shrill, whining sound and the smell of burning rubber. No go. Checked all settings, they were good. Tried it again, with the same results. Tried to pull-start it. Couldn't even get the thingie to move. I checked the oil, remembering how my dad was always on me about how engines needed oil, and not full up to the top of the crankcase, just until the dipstick read "full". If I ran the thing out of oil, I'd never hear the end of it. There was oil. Not full, but just shy of it.

So I stood with shovel, at the end of my driveway, thinking that if I just got hit by a car or suffered a heart attack while shoveling, that this would be the best week EVAR, when along came a neighbor with his John Deere rider snow blower. And he did our front sidewalk and took a chunk out of the driveway. Never seen him before--I couldn't tell you where he lived if you held a gun to my head. But he saw me and 6-year-old Frija out there with out shovels, and took a chunk out of our work. And then the next-door neighbor came over, who after 6 years I've learned is named "Jim", and he cleaned up a lot of the rest of it.

Random acts of kindness. I think that's what keeps me in Minnesota, especially in what others might think of as a small town (pop. 22,000 or thereabouts). The blower is still screwed. If I had a heated garage, I'd probably take a whack at fixing it, but I don't, so it can sit there. Could be a belt, or a seized engine, or anything in between. First $25 takes it.

I have this lifelong issue with small engines--they won't work for me, not for long. I try to avoid them as much as possible and, like a banker, I just know they're going to screw me in the end.

Uh, OK, health stuff: My success with "getting enough sleep" has been on and off. More on than off, I think, and old habits die hard, but I'll keep at it. I've got an appointment next week to get my wisdom teeth looked at, since my local dentists said they weren't doing anything until they got yanked. Due to the fact that smoking + wisdom teeth removal = dry socket, I plan to quit smoking before I have them out, later this month. So stay tuned for that. You think I'm bitter now?

Still hydrating, still flossing. I was 144 lbs. yesterday.

How healthy I feel (1 being least, 10 being best) 4
How happy am I? 4

OK, so this is embarassing...

Well, I'm supposed to post every day, and it's been a week and a half. I really didn't think that I had anything to report, though. I have started going to bed earlier (as early as 9:30 last Saturday), but am having trouble hitting that 11pm deadline and sticking with it. Last night was 11:40.

The thing I wanted to do away with was going back to bed after I dropped the kids off at school, and I still haven't kicked that. It beckons me...

I need to get this kicked before I take on the next project though, gotta stay focused.

I am still hydrating (approx 2 liters per day), and I am still flossing. Might add a workout routine here in a bit...